PROVIDED/SGLC resident Lois Shapiro shows a photo of her buddy David Lillienfeld of Margate.
GALLOWAY TOWNSHIP – It doesn’t take much to make 13-year-old Sam Goldstein smile. Just ask him about his pen pals, Shirley and Howard Bernstein who live at Seashore Gardens Living Center.
“I’ve always wanted a pen pal,” the Linwood teen said. “I really look forward to their letters. While we’re at home and we can’t do a lot, it makes the time go quicker. Plus, it’s really fun to make that connection.”
Like all of us, Goldstein has had a challenging year, missing out on milestone celebrations including his upcoming bar mitzvah, which was postponed due to the pandemic. Even his volunteer service at Seashore Gardens Living Center, where he volunteers regularly with his family and knows many of the residents.
“When I heard about ‘Better Together,’ I jumped at the chance to be involve,” he said. “Now I’m doing virtual piano concerts for the residents as part of my bar mitzvah project.”
“Better Together” is a program of the Board of Jewish Education of Atlantic and Cape May Counties. It connects SGLC residents with Jewish teens from the Kulanu School of Jewish Studies, with programs centering around Jewish values. Now in its fourth year, Better Together has transitioned from in-person to virtual due to the pandemic.
“This year has been a very challenging year for Better Together, now called ‘Better Together in a Box,’” Kulanu School Executive Director Susan Weis said. “Although we have not been able to meet in-person, we have been able to communicate with our buddies through video messages, letters, journals and phone calls. Even though it has been more difficult to facilitate the program, we all feel that the need for building relationships through points of contact is greater than ever.”
Lois Shapiro moved to SGLC last March, the night before the center closed to visitors. Better Together has been a welcome activity for her.
“I was approached by the staff and asked if I wanted to participate,” she said. “My kids are all older and even though I talk to them every day, they’re busy with their lives. I’m bored and I thought it was a good thing to do. They asked me, and I said I’ll try it and if it’s not for me, I’ll let you know.”
As it turns out, Shapiro enjoyed the first encounter so much that she can’t wait for the next. She raves about her buddy, 17-year-old David Lillienfeld of Margate.
“He is absolutely one of the nicest kids I’ve ever met,” she said. “He’s so sweet, so great. We had an instant connection. We spoke about ourselves. I asked him what he was planning to do with his life. I told him about my children.”
Lillienfeld said he enjoyed the connection as well.
“I was really interested in the intergenerational aspect of the program,” he said. “It wasn’t like the other community service opportunities. I thought I might gain some perspective from this experience, and I have. Better Together gives us the opportunity to get to know someone who is older and learn from their life experiences. For the residents, it provides a connection to the younger generation. It gives them a chance to make a difference in our lives as well.”
The residents and students exchanged framed photos and a bag of items sanitized items, including a notebook for written messages between each pair. Each person completed a questionnaire to learn a little bit about each other. They also connected via snail mail with many partners writing cards and letters to one another. Phone conversations were recorded to attach a voice to their pictures and the paper biographies. One of the most innovative items was e-Cards the students made with mini videos of themselves and their families, the center’s Assistant Director of Recreation Weinraub said.
The students also had to navigate the deaths of two residents, Weinraub said, but a new partner filled the void.
“We are being flexible and innovative to develop and maintain this intergenerational connection under extraordinary circumstances,” she said.
“We knew Sam before he was paired with us in Better Together,” resident Howard Bernstein said. “He’s been around Seashore Gardens since he was little. We’ve watched him grow up. Now he’s a young man, and we’re enjoying getting to know him on another level. He’s an exceptional kid, very articulate and caring.”
This is the second year in the program for high school freshman Pauline Leiderman.
“I initially signed up for community service hours, but this doesn’t feel like community service,” high school freshman Pauline Leiderman of Northfield said. “It’s really social and fun, like hanging out with friends.”
She noted the large age difference between the students and the seniors.
“It’s good to be able to learn things about each other. The times you lived in are different and the activities you do are different. We learn about them and they learn about us,” she said.
